Good self-esteem is the foundation of happiness. The basis for it is laid down in childhood but even those of us who suffered setbacks in our formative years, or had a far from idyllic home environment, can greatly improve self-esteem in adulthood by making a few simple changes.
Acknowledging accomplishment – the inner ‘have done’ list
Struggling to acknowledge our achievements and give ourselves credit for attainments is common if we have low self-esteem. Instead we focus on our failings and push away compliments. We can break this vicious circle by keeping, a daily ‘have done’ list. On this list, we can note what we have achieved including the things which might look trivial to someone else but were hard things for us to do due to low self-esteem. It is the opposite of the ‘to do’ list and it should be read read regularly.
The subconscious will soak up this evidence and give you subtle confidence boosting reminders that you are doing well.
Treasuring real friends
Low confidence creates insatiable urges in the subconscious for approval and praise from people of all types.
The weaker the sense of ourselves, the less we discriminate and gauge the real worth of others. We lose a realistic perspective and expect others to root for us, even those who, deep down, might not relish our success.
Sadly, not everyone will love your book getting on the best-selling list or be thrilled about your promotion. They might be quite negative. People with robust confidence accept that and can dismiss it from their mind while less confident people will blame themselves.
Those with good self-esteem tend to attract and build honest and true relationships, ignore negative people and certainly steer clear of faux ‘friends’. Choose authentic friends and treasure them. They will give you the trustworthy feedback that genuinely helps you to build a strong sense of your self, making you much more resilient as a person.
Still struggling? A few sessions with a hypnotherapist might very well give you the psychological techniques to put low self-confidence behind you for good.