Has a surprise legacy turned your love affair to ashes? Has getting that promotion made love go cold? Has the luxury gift from a doting relative resulted in the silent treatment?

It can be very hurtful for a woman when her good fortune is not celebrated by her partner. It is particularly mystifying if the unexpected good turn of events benefits him, as well as her.

Men and women are still baffled by each other at an emotional level. How can a modern man be turned off a desirable woman, just because she is the one to ask him for a date or get the windfall? If the sexes in the Western world are more equal than at any other time in history, why does a woman who shares everything with her live-in partner, still wait patiently for him to ‘pop the question’?

The role of the subconscious

Women need true and lasting love and so do men, but there is much conflict about the satisfaction of what should be a simple matter. Those of us who are high achievers and used to breaking down problems logically, may be reluctant to acknowledge the role of the subconscious in determining feelings, but it is likely that the resources of the unconscious have immense impact on behaviour. The unconscious forces can overpower reason and lead to destructive and irrational responses, hurting the ones we love the most.

The mystery of our inner drives

However well-educated a man is, it seems many still like to have rivals for their love. Men may not always admit it, but some derive great satisfaction from the thrill of  the chase, beating off the competition and winning the ‘prize’.

These drives may be incomprehensible and unhelpful today, when men and women quite rightly expect equality, but they are deeply embedded in the psyche. We know from evolution that a dominant male primate gained as many females as possible to procreate, as that showed superiority. A female on the other hand, is biologically limited in the number of children she can produce, no matter how many partners she has, so it is suggested that women were less likely than men to seek more partners. The original ‘family’ is thought to be the mother, the daughter and the daughter’s children, with men coming and going into the unit, but not required to have long term input. However, that version of events may not cut much ice today with the Child Support Agency.

Maybe, evolutionary psychology can shed a little light on the differences between the sexes when it comes to committing to the ring and the baby. The grandparenting milestone also, may be experienced rather differently. A woman might be thrilled to become a grandmother, whereas a man might miss out on such rejuvenating pleasure when they reach that stage of life.

Modern love

Whatever evolution is telling us, modern statistics have a clear and sobering message. Those of us lucky enough to be in a fulfilling partnership are likely to live longer, healthier and happier lives. It is also better for children to be raised in a stable and loving environment .

If you are struggling to understand your significant other, or perhaps still looking for true love, why not consider consulting a hypnotherapist? This will give you the opportunity to use your whole mind effectively to overcome any subconscious obstacles which stand in the way.

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